Sobriety?

It’s never easy. 

And then you thought you’ve recovered cause you’ve been doing so damn well. You stopped crying 3 days later and have been keeping your chin up all the time since the break up. You taking care of yourself, eating healthy and keep up your work out routine. You lost tons of weights- those that you’ve been meaning to lose it for awhile but you have this binge eating problem you’re trying to fix. Everything is good, you started going out to all the invitations your friends or colleagues invited you too. You open up yourself and bought some new clothes and make up products.

Everyone tells you that you look amazing now. You look happier. Deep down, you don’t know if it’s true but you live with it, you live through it every single day waking up in the morning staring in the mirror telling yourself ‘I’m f*kin beautiful‘. At some point, you stop caring whatever people think about you, and you dress yourself well. No one could tell you’ve been through hell (except the weight loss and a sharpen chin)/ heartbreak phase. Telling yourself that he doesn’t deserve you to drown in sorrow.

And you think you’re ready. People who knows started teasing you as you should try dating and going out with others. To explore, to see more of this world could offer. Your close friends and colleagues suggested that you should go out with their friends and fun fun part- encouraging you to download dating apps. You struggled for awhile, a few days wondering if you should do it or if  you’re ready for it. 

You did it. You held the big curiosity in you and stepping out for once. To download it, and to actually sitting down working on the strategic game plan. Choosing best 5 pictures from 10k pictures from your picture album over the years, sure it brings back memories- with him and everything else. Next, moving to writing a cool description about yourself.

But, how far are you willing to go?